If you ever get murdered, try not to do it in a field, miles from anything. Otherwise you might find yourself the subject of a long investigation that doesn’t go anywhere. One thing we know for sure: it wasn’t related to Slender Man. He didn’t exist yet.
Most people hate the news. Most people also watch the news for some reason. Some companies have begun saving people from themselves by banning it entirely. Let’s hope it sticks. Maybe if we prevent the next generation from ever becoming accustomed to constant bad news they’ll achieve world peace.
Tom isn’t good at being happy. This isn’t a secret. But there is a secret to being happy. The answer to that secret is in Ted’s book, it seems. It’s not something you have to read, it’s something you get to read.