Getting shot with an arrow or being butchered in an apartment are two of the many unfortunate things that can happen to you if you’re a deer. On the other hand, you’re oblivious to the various shenanigans of Hollywood lunatics, so it balances out.
Superheroes have been making money for decades and the trend is only accelerating. Minnesota sucking at sports is also accelerating, although the precogs in Vegas see the Vikings being one of the best teams this year. We’ll see.
We’ve got fake news, non-news, and durian news all in the same segment, because that’s how the news is right now. Jonathan Cain is much more reliable, perhaps because of his religion, perhaps because musicians are well known for their reliability. Probably not that second thing. Either way, he’s writing a book called Don’t Stop Believin’.
Spring has sprung for the 5th and final time this year, and we at the Best Of are ready to complain about the heat.
Clips Featuring: Michael Malone, Karen Straughan, and Adam Hunter
You don’t have to be very old to know what a pager is, yet there are people out there who’ve never seen one before. Even before the era of pagers, there were the Krofft brothers. Unlike pagers, the Kroffts are still around and successful.
Minnesota is known for a few things. People like Magoo, who drive a truck across all 6 million miles of the state. Cy Amundson. And of course, losing.
Tom and Michael have one thing in common, and that’s a fondness for weed. They may have other things in common, but there’s only so much time in an hour, you know.
If you have a house and want a lot of money, it’s time to sell. At that point you’ll have no house, so you buy one. Then repeat the cycle forever. If you find yourself exhibiting this behavior, you may have neurological damage from concussions.
Ford’s out of the car game save for two of them. When we say car we mean car, not vehicle, so don’t worry. Joe’s job is safe. Kanye’s may not be unless he starts playing country western.
Optimism and dinosaurs often go hand in hand. Whenever dinosaurs and humans meet it tends to turn out pretty well. And with brain tumors you’ve got Phenomenon, where he becomes a genius. So basically everything is good, even if it’s bad.